Ants and other failed relations…

For X-mas Kira received one of those new styled ant farms with “Space Age Gel” and “Light Up Action” and like the ant farms of old it included a coupon good for a package of ants for only five dollars. Being the cheapskate that I am, and looking at the ants crawling around on my kitchen counter, I scoffed at that as a rip off and stated I would capture ants myself rather than waste that kind of money.

It’s the middle of March now and I can honestly say I haven’t successfully incarcerated a single one of those six legged, sons of bitches.

I began by simply leaving the top off the ant farm, thinking “Phhbbt… how hard can it be.” Two weeks later not a nibble. I then started leaving shot glasses with a few drops of soda in them to entice them. Nothing.

I started to mix it up, leaving little trails of sugar to the farm, hiding the ant farm amongst dirty dishes, leaving the thing outside, I even tried the tried and true primate “stick in ant hill” technique which actually was the most promising, and would have worked even… If they didn’t happen to be particularly annoyed fire ants.

So yet another object mocks me from the bookcase, and another entire species as well.


5 Responses to “Ants and other failed relations…”

  1. you can’t……..catch……………..ants


  2. never fear, ant catching expert is here. nathan from blog-of-nathan here. This is the first week of my gel ant farm…

    How to catch ants? Well after giving up on tweezers… which only mangle the poor ants, and scooping them up from the ground.. which adds sand to the gel…. I remembered that the ants in my backyard loved the cat biscuits when my pukey cat vomits outside. All you do is get a cat biscuit… or dog biscuit.. or anything else ants would like to eat. Simply put a biscuit in an open mug… or the little container you got with the ant farm. Within an hour the ants will cover the inside of the mug when they discover the biscuit. All you do is quickly cover it, take it inside and tip them into your ant farm…. close the lid quick.

    Let the food be your bait!

    The ants do love that gel stuff, they build lots of tunnels. I used the normal little ants, watch out for them as they are small enough to escape through the breathing hole in the cap and even squeeze out of the lid!! I think it is made for big bull-ants, but they require a drive to the bush…

    good luck!

    • kingbiscuitpants Says:

      thanks I’ll try that later this week. I will forever refuse to spend 5 bucks on ants regardless!

  3. I would liked to have spent $5 bucks to get some ants in the mail… unfortunately here in Australia there is no such service that posts ants! 😦

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