The Zen of Diarrhea

They often say that illness will change one’s perceptions, this is an effect to which I will attest as I am winding down from what is certainly the worst stomach virus I’ve had in my entire life. Those familiar with my blog will note my propensity, even virtuosity, for beating myself up over my daily failings but for the past 3 days (that I had to call in sick-which I can ill afford) I have been too sick even for that.

Between delirium, diarrhea, and disease I had but one thought and one goal…

Do not shit pants…

And I am very proud to say I achieved that ordinarily unimpressive action.

There is more to this than a highbrow poop joke. As we go through our lives we have expectations, goals, responsibilities; but when disaster strikes just survival is the achievement. Let me tell you after being up close to 48 hours straight from the aforementioned “condition” any concern about rent and career is out the window when your stomach sounds like a stable filled with skittish horses during a thunderstorm, and the 15 feet to the bathroom looks like the Army Rangers obstacle course.

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