Send a team of Spelunkers… Stat…

Another day of chronic anal cranial syndrome, I just can’t get my shit together lately.  It seems I can exactly handle my day job and keeping the children alive–anything else is essentially a shitsmear.   I know many say that “well you’re raising kids and that’s an achievement”  While it takes soul destroying amount of effort, it’s not really that hard statistically speaking otherwise our species would have long ceased to exist.

So far “accidentally” consuming over 50 raw oysters and another hotel pan filled with mussels hasn’t broken me out of this, however, I am no longer suffering any lack of zinc in my system. Tomorrow the family is dragging me to rennisance faire, where considering how much I fucking hate ren faire I am bringing my art supplies and charles laptop with the logic that I’ll get work done specifically since typing on a laptop there kind of shits all over the concept.

Another thing about ren faire, other than people much fatter than me looking even more ridiculous, and the pretentious assholes who hold “titles” there, and the fact that it’s peppered with creepy pedophiles, and their combined girth has almost certainly caused a synthetic velvet shortage, and the fact that if we could harness all the potential energy of fat broads corset strings we could power the state of kentucky, I have never needed an excuse to eat a turkey leg and drink a beer in my life, I can do that anywhere if I so choose, like BabyGap or during a parent-teacher confrence, or sitting on santa’s lap, or while working with heavy machinery etc.

A plus of bringing my “homework” to faire is that it will keep me busy and that way I won’t embarass/annoy Shu & the brats with my utterly vicious comments and generally bad attitude.

Wish me luck.


One Response to “Send a team of Spelunkers… Stat…”

  1. Haha…it would be hard to paint a more craptacular vision of the renaissance faire.

    That….and the image of you eating a baby calf sized turkey leg perched on Santa’s lap (wearing a Little Lord Fauntleroy costume for some creepy reason)…..will stay with me for the remainder of the weekend.

    Drink a couple of liters for me…..I’m stuck in M.F.A. PAPER WRITING HELL.

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