Choking, the joy of failure… a story slightly about Nicko, but mostly about me being an idiot.

Ok let me set this up.

I work at Rock N’ Roll Ribs owned by Nicko of Iron Maiden so I have made no secret of my cartoonish attempts to try to weasel my way into McBrain damage or even just one solid rehearsal with the guy.  Maiden is my favorite band, the reason I started playing music and just in general an enormous influence upon my entire life, yadda, yadda.

To put it in perspective for non musicians I would want the opportunity to play a single club gig with Nicko than you want to have sex with the attractive celebrity of your choice.

And I fucked it up.

Yep…  Totally made an ass of myself.

I used to be in a Maiden tribute band several years ago, and Rick my boss knew this, so since the grand opening shindig is coming I begged….

Long story short he gave me an impromptu & unexpected chance to prove myself last night after work and quizzed me on a bunch of songs I HONESTLY know I just haven’t practiced them in ages but I know the songs. I don’t know what happened; my brain took a shit on me, not a brain fart- my brain literally took a shit on my face.  Thank god Nicko wasn’t there or I think I’d have to leave the country in shame or something.

I choked.

I choked bad.

I choked so bad I lost conciousness & soiled myself.  Well, not literally, but it felt that way at the time.

I appreciate Rick giving me a shot it’s totally my fault I blew it…  Mea Culpa…

Of course I’m now obsessively practicing so in the 5 years it takes me to build up the courage to look the guy in the eye again and resume begging I’ll be ready.

And I’ve already had a cookie and it didn’t help….


7 Responses to “Choking, the joy of failure… a story slightly about Nicko, but mostly about me being an idiot.”

  1. Rick surely knows you got nerved up. It happens. I’ve gone to auditions and did the same thing before. I shant laugh at this misfortune.

  2. kingbiscuitpants Says:

    it’s ok you have my permission
    thought you’d be uniquely able to relate.

  3. kingbiscuitpants Says:

    also I’ve nothing but love for Rick for giving me a chance for the record

  4. Explain to him what happened, I am sure he’d give a second chance.

    • kingbiscuitpants Says:

      i will but i’m going to wait a while. truth be told they need me more behind the line cooking anyway (since that is what they pay me for) and truth be told all the actual money I’ve made playing has been more in the funk, reggae, other genre. in the end it was seeing the funny in screwing up. I plan on waiting quite a while, investing a little daily time in keeping up with those songs because they are a bitch if you don’t play them all the time, it’d be probably a solid 2 weeks of practicilg like I did before children (2-3 hours a day if i was being lazy vs. maybe 25 minutes all added together in a 2 hour period due to constant interruptions). and again let me emphasize rick & nicko are great guys I was laughing at my brain fart. but i do sincerely appreciate the encouragement i can always use it. actually I have an audition for a PAYING side gig for a local singer songwriter that will be happening some time next weeek that i expect to nail.

  5. Have another cookie. Maybe two.

    and think about it this way – you only choked in front of a couple of guys, after work and not in any fashion that’s going to get you on YouTube (altho the actual soiling of your pants could have made you an overnight internet sensation).

    So now you’ve got the choking part out of the way – you can concentrate on figuring out the chord progressions on Flight of the Navigator or something. . .

    but seriously have another cookie first.

    • kingbiscuitpants Says:

      thank you sweetheart. however the previous post with the pictures is adding guilt to my cookie intake…lol… and i will try again but in the end it’s just one more gig & I have actually done literally hundreds of them so it’s not that big a deal in the big picture. but speaking of youtube kira has made me promise to help her write a song & put it on youtube….so far…. let’s just say i originally thought it’d be a fun father/daughter thing but i forgot to take into account our personalities. either way there will be one of 3 posts about it.
      1 isn’t that cute it went well with video… very unlikely
      2 endearing but godawful with video… somewhat likely
      3 absolute fucking trainwreck that produces no video but a surly bourbon fueled, late night blog post, rather likely
      so far this gig is more challenging

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