WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME? I LOOK LIKE HELL

For the record I’m still in my non depressed state, however, sometimes you have to call a spade a spade.  I was very breifly checking,  my rarely looked at facebook page and noticed that my buddy Terry had a couple of shots from our old, old, OLD band Restless spirits up for old times sake.  Let me put this up since this is key to my argument and I apologize for the fashion sense and for I’m second from the left.

Yeah, I know I look a bit like a Picadilly rent boy, but Christ I was hot.  To give you an idea how clueless I was at the time (I won’t mention how many decades ago this picture was taken) I had a hard time picking up women.  In this picture I was probably around 185 pounds. Jesus, if I looked like that now and was single I’d probably have at least 5 STD’s named after me by now.  Now for contrast here is a picture taken about 5 minutes ago, also wearing black which is of course “slimming”.

That’s me standing next to my homemade Imperial Guard vacuum cleaner cover.

Hideous…

I mean in all actuality I know what happened to me.  Put quite simply loads of food, liquor, beer, sloth, fistfights (which did wonders for my craniofacial structure) and time.  I weigh a deplorable 313 pounds right now, made especially sad because I’m DOWN to 313 right now.

I actually pay a closer resemblance to Shreck than to my old photos at this stage in my life.  What is, is what is and I’m trying to get a bit closer to the shape of the guy in the top photo; mostly by crying and lighting St. Jude candles.  In any case it’s rather good fodder for a self deprecatory bit of bloggery.

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4 Responses to “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME? I LOOK LIKE HELL”

  1. shit dude, i’m in the same boat. i look like hell. i’ve never been skinny, but damn. my new apartment has a gym and a pool. once i get fully moved in they will be utilized. i lost 25 lbs last summer and gained it all back when the weather changed.

    fortunately i still look young in the face and can still pick up quality chicks! chloroform helps!

  2. kingbiscuitpants Says:

    remember to lift with the legs & keep your back straight

  3. no real lifting. my hands are screwed up from drumming actually. that’s why i changed to bassering after 16 years of drumming. but treadmill and stationary bikes work wonders for me. i can do some machine weights with minimal pain, so i’ll hit those too.

    you’re gonna be busy sunday!
    http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.Net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=134860

    • kingbiscuitpants Says:

      i know don’t remind me; the shifts are brutal under the best of circumstances. Caffiene and asprin is our friend

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