Ones that got away… Things happen for a “reason”

We all have them, whether it was a blurry drift of hair & perfume in the breeze, the person who was right there all along but you never realized until it was too late, or a band that had moments of of actual greatness that either never quite got their shit together, or worse yet disolved in a dirty smear of egos and acrimony, stained with the scent of stale beer and cigarette smoked baked into a speaker cabinet.

What started this train of thought was a note from my old friend Terry that reminded me of one of those bands that almost was.  Every working musician has more of these stories than hopeless romantics have lost loves, but this brief project was one of the special ones, unique, a mixture of soul and a dozen other things.  Terry made a choice that set up his life far for the better and moved to Datona and the band broke up.  My old band “Earth 2 Jon” broke up when I ran off to follow a woman I loved (didn’t work out), most recently (albeit years ago) Gregg & I were fired from “Jahfe” because of “The bandleader’s” bullshit control issues, and that was really a shame because we were really, really on the cusp of breaking through in a huge way but alas.

One of the phrases that I have a deep and abiding hatred for is “everything happens for a reason”.  It doesn’t life is random, we make the choices we make and the universe is a meaningless mass of spinning electrons.   This statement is no revision of my new  “shiny happy” outlook on life, in fact I’m as cheery as ever, but bullshit is bullshit and decieving myself in one way or another has only led to more stupid decisions.  I am happy and grateful to have a loving family, but there  will always be some stupid immature part of me that will always be disappointed that I didn’t end up a rock star or that I ended up crashing & burning in my design career.

Though in hindsight that band with Terry I was way to immature at the time to have handled fame, “Earth 2 Jon” I’m sure would have ended up turning into one of those rehab trainwrecks and if Gregg & I brought “Jahfe” to fame (rather than it’s very current competent but completely boring state) I’d have no family & where would they be.  None of those things happened for any “reason” but there were quantifyable benefits in the big picture.

I still wish I was a rock star though…  or had a cookie right now.

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