On being Italian…

Last night at the pub, my friends Greg, Scott & I were having a pleasant evening eating british food and generally shooting the shit, when the subject of the gangster movies came up. Whilst discussing the comparitive merits of Goodfellas versus Godfather when Scott up and asked..

“Dom, you’re Italian; What’s up with the crazy Italian bullshit anyway?”

Now in our long-time friend shorthand that translates as;

“Why are there all these rather accurate stereotypes of ananacronistic, paternally centered (but a matriarchy behind the scenes), tradition obsessed tendencies that I have personally witnessed in a lifetime of observing your crazy Italian family, as well as the families of others? Much of these would seem more appropriate in a 19th century Sicillian village rather than Florida in the 21st century; How say you?”

I hemmed & hawwed and attempted to explain in when Gregg interjected:

“If I may… I believe that it can be summed up thusly. The Italian “bullshit” ,if you would, is composed of only 2 things; pride, in the biblical sense (ie to the point where it is a sin) and vendetta.”

I stood and thought a moment and I couldn’t really argue a bit of it, at most I could use more words that would amount to the same thing.

“But at least we eat really well…” I countered.

After that we wandered to an anthropological quey of the new subspecies of New jersey “Guido” (also commonly reffered to as douchebags) with their pursed lips in photo shoots, painted on tans, popped collars and Dragonball Z inspired hair and that’s where I denied any cultural responsibility to that genetic anomoly….


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