8 minutes… A Logan story…

As most of you know my youngest son Logan just turned 11 last week, so as my primary gift for him I got him a very nice remote control truck since it was something he’d wanted badly. He had been through several remote control vehicles in the past but they were of crappy quality so I figured, in my unfallable wisdom, that he’s old enough to handle a good one, it’ll last longer. So yesterday we loaded it up with all the AA batteries in the city of Sunrise Florida, I made him read the instructions and we took it out for it’s maiden voyage.

8 minutes.
8 goddamn minutes.
He broke the fucking thing in 8 goddamn minutes!!!!

Sigh… Usually when that much money is gone that quickly a blackjack table is involved. So here is how it happened…
We found a nice empty area in the parking lot of our apartment, checked for cars and he made his first tenative touches to the controls; promply reversing the truck and smacking me in the most delicate part of my bad ankle.
“Sorry dad..”
Winceing “It’s ok Logan, it was an accident, just try again & be careful.”
The truck made a quick once around culminating in him having to leap in the air in order to spare him his own ankles. I carfully went through braking and steering once again and off he went. He was speeding at full power towards the dumpster I knew things were about to get expensive…
“Logan turn the truck.”
“Logan turn the truck.”
“Logan turn the truck!”
“Logan, the truck turn it!!!”
“LOGAN TURN THE TRUCK!!!!”
“LOGAN TURN!!!”
“LOGAN TURN!!!”
“LOGAN TURN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN!!!!”
“LOGAN TURN!!!”
And with the last of these instructions, and with painful slowness he turns towards me; the truck still accellerating to it’s doom. It smacked into the dumpster so hard that the engine shot out of the side, adding a missing onomonopea to my deep existential disappointment.
Later on today I intend to try to fix it, I’ll probably be able to get it to work but it will look like hell.

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5 Responses to “8 minutes… A Logan story…”

  1. kingbiscuitpants Says:

    After about 3 hours, a yard of bailing wire and roughly 1 foot of “Gorilla” tape the vehicle is now functioning once again. Set your bets for how long this fix will last.

  2. Oh poor little guy! Maybe you all should go to a bigger parking lot. . .

  3. maybe try wrapping the exterior with bubble wrap until he gets the hang of it.

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