Archive for May 29, 2009

Some Minor Achievements

Posted in music, rants on May 29, 2009 by kingbiscuitpants

After another successful Opera Mash-Up gig Wednesday night that cheered me up from crippling depression to merely a bit down, therefore, I actually was productive enough to  finally got the house cleaned up properly with willing help from Shu & applying liberal yelling to the kids.  The minor achievement was satisfying and hopefully something that will last as I put the bratlets to work today on maintaining the tidyness before they went out to play. 

With the dread ides of summer a week away I figured that it’s best to get them (the kids including/especially the 17 year old) into a regimen of basic housekeeping so that I might be able to postpone having a massive stroke from aggravation until Kira starts dating.  The financial situation is still somewhere between godawful & for the love of god slit my goddamned throat, but we’re still paying the bills at least.  Despite this empass I find myself considering changing my work schedule somewhat in order to continue performing the Mash-Up series which are changing dates to Tuesday nights.  The downside is that I would be making a little less reliable money, the upside is that doing the shows have hugely improved my general mental well being, as well as the fact that any lost funds would still be vastly cheaper than the horse dosage  perscription of Zoloft that it would take to accomplish the same for me.

The gig itself was unique and it was edifying to know that “I’ve still got it”, Gregg & I synced in perfectly (30 years of playing together might be the reason behind that one) and our friend James (who until that moment I had only known as a comedian and indie film maker  http://www.myspace.com/robersonhorror) played a seriously mean theremin, that’s right a theramin.  Those therimin thingy’s rock & it was the first time I got to jam with someone playing one so it was especially fun.  The drummer was rock solid as always.  It’s good to know I can still help to pull 90 minutes of music directly out of my ass when technical difficulties caused a shift in focus from “electronic noise music” to Spinal Tap “jazz oddssey”.  Another high point of the evening was when Bunny convinced a couple of signifigantly tipsy opera singers to put on giant furry pig heads (don’t ask, I didn’t) to do an duet that we gave a sort of Jesus & Mary Chain treatment to. 

All in all today at least, I’ve earned myself a good sit as I pound away listening to Morrissey’s “Suedehead” on the Comcast “Classic Alternitive” radio channel. Tomorrow’s neurosis I’ll deal with when I drag myself out of bed.

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4th Grade Parent’s Breakfast–A Celebration of Almost Everything I Hate

Posted in kids on May 29, 2009 by kingbiscuitpants

There are things I simply despise, rational or not these are key to my personality.  The ones essential to this particular post are the following:

I hate getting up early (especially since I don’t get home from work till 3 am),

Children (other than mine),

Those children’s parents,

Looking at photographs (it depresses me more than most things),

Any PowerPoint anything,

Stale Pastry,

Children (they are just sticky little miniature douchebags),

Awkward interactions with strangers,

Being crammed into enclosed spaces,

Those children’s parents taking photographs,

Undersized furniture,

The movie “Independence Day”,

and last but certainly not least, children (and their germs and their general douchebaggery).

Because I dearly love my son I attended this abomination.   I knew what I was getting into but it is one of those parental duties that god saddles you with as a penalty for enjoying sexual intercourse.  We spent no small amount of time throwing together an Abraham Lincoln costume for his “presentation” last night; which only helped me to focus the dread of the morning to come.   “Oh no…” I thought, “Speaking children…”.

As I staggered into the classroom with Shu I saw a claustrophobic panorama of children (of whom I was certain were at the very least,  sticky & covered in germs) in costumes thrown together in equally rushed & haphazard ways; my favorite of these was a kid wearing a plain white T-shirt with Neil Armstrong crudely written across it in magic marker…  For a brief moment that kid was my hero.  So as I unenthusiastically picked from a table filled with obviously stale wholesale pastries (while secretly wishing it was an open bar) I endured child after child, going to the front of the class to spout out their key historical inaccuracies before returning to their desks, including a couple of lumbering geniuses who looked like they were trying to set a repeating 4th grade endurance record, they at least could have shaved for the occasion.

Logan however, found himself unable to rise to the occasion as he succumbed to the sheer terror of reading 3 sentences off of a blue note card in front of the classroom; I’d like to think he was having an existential crisis over the futility of it all; but it was probably just stage fright instead of the horrifying realization of  a vicious, uncaring world where there is a very real chance that there will be a critical, possibly fatal, lack of resources within his lifetime-a minor disappointment really but I digress.  When the presentations were over I thought I could escape but not before a seemingly endless PowerPoint slide show of badly composed photographs of the classes activities through the year.  Now I am finally home trying to make sense of the horrors I witnessed before having to repeat a variation on this theme in Kira’s classroom next week.