Ferrets, Fleas & What’s left of my will to Live
First let me begin by saying that ferrets are furry, destructive little tubes of stupid that despite what any literature has said I have seen no evidence from anyone I know who owns one, that they are even slightly trainable. That being said it is exactly, just exactly, cute & amusing enough for me not to fling the stupid little beast out the front door with incredible force & slamming the door behind it. This being said I dont want the stupid, useless, foul smelling (did I mention foul smelling, they’re like butt scented feet) little beast to suffer, so when I found it so covered with fleas that it looked like it had been rolling around in pepper (which was my first guess) I dutifully combed it out and flea bathed it (cursing the entire time mind you) and rained hell down upon his apparently lax 17 year old owner. A few moment s after this I noticed an itching in my oh so macho-fuerte beard. Through your shocking powers of observation I think you might realize what the source of this was ; so after thouroughly washing my hair & beard in flea shampoo (which I happen to be allergic to) I sit here typing this out while the aforementioned 17 year old nukes the house with “Borax” powder. I’m going to go eat my lunch now while intermittantly scratching at phantom fleas then go pick up ingredients for dinner, I’m trying fresh Mahi roe for the first time since it’s on sale, I’ll let you know if it’s tasty or train wreck….. EDIT I’m not the world’s biggest fan of mahi roe, it has a very very, strong fishy flavor, which is ok for the roe itself, but for the love of god do not eat the sack part of the ingredient because quite frankly it tastes exactly the way I would imagine a cat’s asshole would taste. This hypothesis (of which I am proud to say I have no personal anecdotal evidence, nor will I ) was reinforced by the enthusiasm which my 2 housecats (Han & Luke, yeah I’m a Star Wars dork) devoured the sack portions of the roe when I put it in their food bowls.