Dom’s Super Secret XXX Wing Sauce

My boss asked me to type out the Super Secret XXX Wing Sauce I developed for both my place of work & my own nefarious purposes. Since it is a super secret sauce I decided the safest place to keep it is somewhere so obscure, so ignored by humanity that no one would ever find it… Not surprisingly my blog was the first place I thought of that fit the requirements. Remember it is vital to frequently laugh like a mad scientist while making it or it just won’t turn out right at all. The recipe makes about 32 ounces of sauce… It won’t go bad, bacteria is afraid of it.

Ingredients:

1 pound diced Habanero peppers seeds & all

2 ounces balsamic vinegar

2 ounces pickle juice (yeah, that’s right, pickle juice)

1 ounce Cajun seasoning (the pre packaged crap)

1 ounce Taco seasoning (ditto)

4 ounce Diced garlic

2 Tsp. Granulated garlic

3 ounces Worcestershire sauce

1 ounce olive oil (for proper wing adhesion)

1 ounce margarine (ditto)

1 hefty squirt mustard

1 hefty squirt of Sirachi chili sauce

5 tablespoons of black pepper

roughly 8 ounces of prepared horseradish

a comparatively vague amount of “Rickey’s” brand Louisiana style hot sauce and only that brand will do (as a side bar Shu & I actually make our own hot sauces from scratch as a side business, but there are applications where an old school Louisiana -eg. “Tabasco” type- will do and hands down “Rickey’s” is the tastiest on the market)

 

Tools:

a 32 ounce container with lid

latex gloves (make sure you use them otherwise you’ll involuntarily be making a “Guinness Records” entry into the Paul Atradies Gom Jabbar time trials—read “Dune” the joke’s funny, or not, I don’t care, I’m not here to amuse you)

kitchen shears

a bowl of diluted bleach solution & a rag

butcher or parchment paper

 

The instructions are what you would think; lay down the butcher paper to make clean up easier, put on the gloves (unless you feel like reliving your circumcision when you go to the bathroom, even if you wash your hands), chop up the peppers & stick them in the container, drop the scissors into the bleach solution, add the rest of the ingredients into the 32 ounce container, and fill the rest of the way with the “Rickey’s” hot sauce, carefully affix the top & shake thoroughly. That’s it.  The best thing is no one will ever know my secret.

 

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2 Responses to “Dom’s Super Secret XXX Wing Sauce”

  1. hmmmmm.. . . looks like East Texas wings to me – good-looking recipe, altho I don’t think you’ve truly lived until you’ve rubbed your eyes after seeding and chopping habaneros without gloves!
    When I get home tonight I’m going to have to throwdown and post my own concoction – I may not be from Texas, but this white girl’s got some hot wings tricks of her own!

    • kingbiscuitpants Says:

      I didn’t know there was a precedent stylisticly; the sauce came from me trying to make a good product from the pantrys of a redneck bar. But it is actually pretty damn tasty. I would love to hear your concoction though.

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